Who did Billy Mays play for?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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