maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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