This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
