i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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