I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
