just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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