Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
