I would go down on you faster than GM stock
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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