I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
