and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
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