he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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