What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
