Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I looked at my own cervix.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
