So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
