yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
