I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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