He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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