Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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