I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
