no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
