she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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