I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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