Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
