i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
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