very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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