Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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