I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i drank out of a bidet.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
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