You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
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He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
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I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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