Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
