stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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