OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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