Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I pour the whiskey from now on
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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