Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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