? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
