I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
