Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
