I think I am morally bankrupt
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
