Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
