How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize