i think my tv is drunk
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize