drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize
