Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
