she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
