Texts From Last Night

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  (269): View more from Michigan

  Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to

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  (269): Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to http://tfl.nu/vc1c
  Replies (0) Good night (896) Bad night (994)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.

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  (214): did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date. http://tfl.nu/9ydt
  Replies (1) Good night (951) Bad night (1017)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.

  (1-515): View more from Iowa

  Deal!

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  (515): You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit. (1-515): Deal! http://tfl.nu/vj0b
  Replies (20) Good night (7931) Bad night (674)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"

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  (414): I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?" http://tfl.nu/89sw
  Replies (9) Good night (965) Bad night (3654)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers

  (1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

  6 min

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  (215): what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers (1-215): 6 min http://tfl.nu/dx1s
  Replies (64) Good night (10921) Bad night (2033)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.

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  (941): Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band. http://tfl.nu/r564
  Replies (11) Good night (1127) Bad night (4353)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat

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  (214): I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat http://tfl.nu/a753
  Replies (18) Good night (5492) Bad night (2882)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne

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  (775): We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne http://tfl.nu/t4g9
  Replies (5) Good night (1290) Bad night (574)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me

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  (514): I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me http://tfl.nu/t69r
  Replies (2) Good night (1951) Bad night (663)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it

  (708): View more from Illinois

  So thats why that cop beat my ass?

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Probably

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  (630): You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it (708): So thats why that cop beat my ass? (630): Probably http://tfl.nu/659z
  Replies (7) Good night (2415) Bad night (874)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity

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  (612): So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age (612): Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity http://tfl.nu/l9mx
  Replies (6) Good night (977) Bad night (569)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.

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  (973): We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record. http://tfl.nu/5jg2
  Replies (2) Good night (814) Bad night (392)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick

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  (770): I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick http://tfl.nu/l70j
  Replies (3) Good night (968) Bad night (674)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.

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  (914): my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her. http://tfl.nu/thk6
  Replies (1) Good night (582) Bad night (266)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now

  (1-224): View more from Illinois

  It's five in the morning. wtf?

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  (224): alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now (1-224): It's five in the morning. wtf? http://tfl.nu/1tma
  Replies (1) Good night (277) Bad night (304)

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