YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.