Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(480): View more from Arizona

she looked like the bat from fern gully.

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(773): View more from Illinois

He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.

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(703): View more from Virginia

I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.

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(636): View more from Missouri

trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(949): View more from California

Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.

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(432): View more from Texas

Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??

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(479): View more from Arkansas

Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.

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(516): View more from New York

So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard

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(937): View more from Ohio

I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.

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