This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
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Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
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Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.