Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
