So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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