at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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