You made me cry and you don't even care
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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