cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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