i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
