In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
