I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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