ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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