Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
