Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I had to cum in my sink.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
