apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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