I can't watch pbs sober anymore
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
