if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
only you would photoshop your dick
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
