break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
