I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
