If i come over, it means nothing
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
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On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
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Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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